Google Tracking

Slightly hilarious some of the information google passes me via its tracking API. The API is free and ties in with your CMS (wordpress/drupal – or whatever) to provide traffic statistics and details on how users get to your site.

Mine used to be valid (and still is to a point) but since I’ve started having problems with finding a good *free* captcha plugin I’m getting more spam bounces. This has skewed my ‘top referrer’ sites;


Or, I have odd friends that get to my blog in odd ways. Don’t feed the trolls – don’t go to any of these sites!

The real hilarity comes via the ‘Top Searches’ report. ‘Top Searches’ shows the google searches that lead users to my blog and lets me see what keywords they searched. I’ve watched this for a while and it often brings a chuckle. Currently my ‘top searches’ are;

– binary scrimp
– www.funy
– cinnamon soda
– judas unchained
– movember ends

Ok sure, some are slightly applicable. But tell me – what is a ‘binary scrimp’ – maybe I should google it! Hrm. Awkward, I’m the first result if you search ‘binary scrimp’ (and yes I clicked through to maintain my high rating!). Glad I represent a strong interest in the scrimping of binary then. Welcome all you Binary Scrimpers!

I won’t even touch what a ‘funy organisme’ is – or why this person decided to try with a www. and a .com but still kept his space in the middle! Perhaps on his google journey he learnt how to spell what he was searching for? Doubtful.

Cinnamon soda? Ok sure, I wrote a line or two on the ‘Big Red’ soda – but I gave up searching by page 23 of the google results. Did someone *really* pass up all those results to choose my carefully crafted words? If so, I applaud you sir.

Judas Unchained! Evidently my poetic prose of a review interested someone or something. I tend to write all my reviews directed at web scrapers – what, web scrapers read books as well! Just because my niche market is semi-sentient self aware google bots! Don’t judge me.

‘Movember ends’ I can’t even hazard a guess at how this person made it to me. I would have thought it was clear Movember ended along with November. This concept may be confusing for some – I know I start early usually…. so perhaps others end late and this guy just wanted to clarify.

How about I conclude my little google tracking rant with a pretty graph?

Its funny because while the spikes show *me* the users per day (when I hover over it) they don’t show you. So if I said – that large spike represents 798 unique visitors – you would be impressed and only I (and google) would know the real data.

Also interesting to note I can only entertain the average person (read: web scraper) for 1 minute and 14 seconds. Evidently when you are a semi-sentient web scraper it doesn’t take long to digest my entire site… in fact, I’m partly flattered they hang around for the extra 1 minute and 12 seconds – as clearly this blog isn’t that dense.

Alright. That ends my foray into google analytics for today. Back to work!

Update: Excellent news! I’m now also the top result for ‘Binary Scrimpers’. Finally I’m a high flyer!

One Response to “Google Tracking”

  1. Jem Says:

    I read it!!!! Are you happy now. Pretty amusing really. Maybe ppl think your site is porn?